Friday, May 6, 2016

Being Disappointed Without Being Disappointing

"Love in Diversity" - Mural proposal ©Antonia Ruppert
Life is messy. Have you noticed that there is no way around that? We are not perfect but human. And as humans, we grapple with disappointment. This week has proved this to me in living color. 

But first, might I share the last few weeks in pictures?

©Antonia Ruppert

Painting Live for After the Due Order CD release
©Photo by Les Stevens

Robin Tillotson ( and I at my Loyola U show.
©Antonia Ruppert

"Portraits of Motherhood" exhibit at the Cicero Public Library
©Antonia Ruppert
After traveling, live painting for a CD release and two back to back shows at Loyola University Chicago and the Cicero Public Library, I was not expecting this week to get so messy.  I guess I had my guard down.

This week, my very good friend and fellow artist Elaine shared a mural opportunity with me. Though we both realized too late that the deadline had passed by one day, I called the organization. I was told that I had until the next day to get my materials in.  I was elated. I jumped.  Really fast -  I jumped. My eighth grade teacher Mrs. Mae would've been proud of the way I kicked procrastination to the side and got on with it.

I decided to create something that I thought was huge and magnificent. I stayed up way too late and got up early to finish.  I even put it out on Instagram and Facebook to get input about my idea.

Which one? Top or Bottom? ©Antonia Ruppert
After all that, I finished in time.  One little messy detail was that the mural opportunity had a boundary restriction - meaning artists had to live in a specific area.  I called the gentleman back from the organization to inquire.  I eventually called twice and left an email. 

To make a long story short, just before sending the mural proposal I called the organization again. This time he picked up the phone and said matter-of-factly "Oh yes, you definitely need to live within this area." Crushed.

Nope, I did not get ghetto -  thank God. Yes, I kept my sanity.

Despite being utterly frustrated, I managed to call my friend Pastor Sarah who shared some wisdom. "You've got to be disappointed without being disappointing."

After coming to grips with the failure, I found these to be truths:

1. Thou Shalt Not Take it Personal: 
This gentleman's inability to call me or email me back is not a sign of anything related to me. It wasn't even about me, just something that happened.

2. Being Disappointed is OK, Letting It Go Is Better:
Don't run from the emotion. Hold it. And then let it go. Go for a walk. Jump on the treadmill. Write in your journal. Self-care.

3. Fill Your Head With Gratitude and Affirmation: 
Perhaps you find yourself, like me, severely disappointed in a circumstance. We can still find 10 things that you can positively be grateful for. Check out my inspirational renewal cards. Currently available, you can take 10 seconds and redirect your outlook. We can be affirming. 

4. Tons of Folk Have "Been There" Too:
In the book, "Daring Greatly," author Brene Brown talks about "common humanity" in which one can realize that "suffering and feelings of personal inadequacy" are part of being human.  All of us go through this.  

In conclusion, if you can relate today, be encouraged. Life is messy but we're not a mess.  As I leave you with my positive affirmations, remember we can be disappointed without being disappointing. 

Daily Affirmations ©Antonia Ruppert