Saturday, October 30, 2010

Who Else is Scared this Halloween?

"Pumpkin Love"  Commissioned Painting
Watercolor and Pastel  ©Antonia Ruppert
Yes, Halloween is here.  And though this is a fun time for some filled with pumpkins, ghosts and scary movies, there is nothing more fear-inducing than being a mommy...and an artist.  Maybe you can relate.

Take this week, for example.

What could I do when my little one wanted to put on her costume--just to "practice?"  You know me. The mom and artist in me said “OK” and grabbed my camera.  As she twirled around and around, I think she thought she’d BECOME a butterfly. 

The next day, my big teen asked me for help with her Halloween homework for Spanish.  She had to create a full length cardboard skeleton with her very own attributes.  She had already made an amazing outfit by hand out of scraps of cloth I had.  She just needed the hair done.  So there I was -  at 11pm sewing weave(hair extensions) on her Día de los Muertos skeleton. I’m thinking, “First of all, I don't know how to sew weave and secondly, “Isn't this YOUR project?”  Thankfully, we finished it and she was happy with it.

Mommy's work, like artists’ work means hearing and noticing.

This is what I heard this week:

“Mommy can you help me find my doll’s sippy cup?”
“Mommy come and see my transformer - no come and see!(she was holding playdoh and a broken handle from a drawer)”
“Mommy, guess what Nicholas is for Halloween.  No Guess!”

And this is what I noticed: My daughters are as creative as I am. My teen is directing a skit at church--just in time for Halloween). I'm amazed at her ability to write, direct, dance and act.  

In a recent interview with Darren Hardy of Success Magazine, Paula Deen shares that when she first started out by herself, she sacrificed her relationship with her boys.  I heard that and froze. That scared me.

Yes, Halloween is here.  But there is nothing that scares me more right now than being a mommy...and an artist.

6 comments:

Nanci Hersh said...

Toni,

Great Job! I even read through the whole thing! I just came from 4 hours in a car and was thinking alot my blog... thinking I need it to be short, though not always sweet, I will do some writing tomorrow and see what happens.

I can TOTALLY relate to the artist/ mommy juggle thing... and I love that your work and your voice in your blog go hand and hand.

Toni Ruppert said...

Nanci, Thank you for reading through it! I so appreciate your comments. So glad you could relate to this juggling act too. Good luck with your writing.

laurayoung said...

Beautiful post, Toni. Such important insights...

Pam Mingle said...

Toni, it's Pam from Blog Triage! I think we moms will forever feel guilt over the career v. kids issues! My daughter is grown up now, but sometimes I think about times I should have been there for her and wasn't. Your post is sincere, expressing truly felt emotions. BTW, that daughter I mentioned? She lives in Chicago now!

Kathryn said...

Hi Toni,
As your reader and fellow classmate in your Blog Triage class, I can "relate." I've been there all too many times with not only children, but elderly parents, and a husband, too. But we all keep trying to do it all! You've got support here!

Amelia's Adventures in Sunny Cal said...

Toni, Your post is powerful. The moment you realize you've had to make a choice is like a stab in the heart for the loss you've just experienced. The line you've just crossed and can never step back over. Your post captures it perfectly.